Thursday, May 3, 2012

I want to LIVE my life….


 It’s been almost 2 years since I have started my career. I never wanted to take up a job but I had no other option left. I joined cognizant and moved to Chennai. So it all started with training. Not that I learned a lot but I started exploring myself and this world. I met different types of people had very good experiences with them. I learned to mingle and socialize with them. It was all together a new state and new language, but I was totally happy that I was so adaptable and I could adjust to the new environment. I learned my curiosity towards learning new languages( I was very much interested in learning Tamil). I visited many places and I was filled with loads and loads of new experiences. Every day was like an adventure. The beaches, malls, city buses, and most importantly the people over there have given me good experiences and memories. The Kodaikanal trip was most memorable. I was never fond of any travels or places, but for the first time I was in love with the nature and its beauty. I was never aware that I could get such pleasure and happiness out of that trip. Every place I visited and every moment I spent there was awesome. I got so much influenced by the beauty of nature. Now it reminds me of a quote

“ There is a pleasure in the pathless woods;
There is a rapture on the lonely shore;
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar;
I love not man the less, but Nature more...”  - Lord Byron

I started enjoying nature and I started loving it.

I was so happy and with that joy I even forgot my goal and passion. But soon I realized that and applied for CAT 2010. Did not prepare at all. I got carried away with flow. I got transferred to Hyderabad. This part was like hell and I had real bad experience in corporate world. I was forced to do what I never wanted to do I was in a very wrong place. With all these experiences I started working for my goal again. I started preparing for CAT I worked for more than 5 hours a day. I left every other luxury to concentrate on CAT. But ultimately I ended up getting 90.14%. But still it could fetch me all IIM calls except for Calcutta. Now the final part, I got  rejected by most of the IIMs. I totally lost hope on myself. I don’t know what is missing in me. I ended up a failure. Now it’s the best part. There is a saying that if we succeed the world will know you but if you fail, you will know the world. I am going through this phase of my life where I am truly exploring myself to the core.

Now I realize what life is and what living is. I believe happiness and the joy comes from inside of ourselves. In life happiness is everywhere, this world is filled with full of joy and enthusiasm. But most of the times we fail to see the joy around us.We all are stuck up with the things, things which we believe will get happiness to us. I believed I will get happiness if I crack CAT and get into big b school. Even if had cracked I might not have got the happiness. I was running for something madly, I don’t know what to do if I get that. Most of us would be running like me. By running behind the THINGS we are missing the true essence of life that can be experienced at every moment of our lives. These are not the words of a failure but of a believer. Now I am feeling happy and totally filled with positive energy. I love this world, humanity, nature and my life. Thanks lord for giving me this fantastic life.

Now my approach to the life has totally changed. Till now I was doing something for living but from now on I will live and as a part of it I will do something. Life is like a package, it should be mixed with everything, we just can go behind something leaving everything. I ran behind CAT leaving everything in my life. Now I will make my life as a package. I want my package filled with my goal, family, health and fun and everything possible. Every day is a gift to me by lord. I want to live every moment free and fearless. I want to learn something from everything that comes my way. I want to fill my life with new and memorable experiences.

“The core of mans' spirit comes from new experience